Click here for printable version. Warning Signs   There are no guarantees that any program will work; a lot depends on your partner's motivation and capacity for change. But some programs work better than others. The ones that work well use the following standards: Characteristics of an abusive partner Excessively jealous and possessive Won't let the spouse have friends Checks up on the spouse Won't accept breaking up Very bossy, gives orders Makes all the decisions Disregards the spouse's opinions Threatens the spouse Owns or uses a weapon Has a bad temper Brags about mistreating others Has a history of violence Abuses drugs or alcohol Blames the spouse for her mistreatment Pressures the spouse to have sex Believes that men should be in control Believes women should be submissive Has a history of bad relationships Uses spouse's guilt to get his own way. Characteristics of an abused partner Frequent accidents Injuries that have poor explanations Extreme reluctance to make decisions Has few or no friends Has little or no contact with family Has no control over the family's money Has poor self-esteem History of family violence Very submissive to husband Refuses to have visitors Refuses to discuss situation Depression Unsure of own needs Feels helpless Click here for printable version.